There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
