she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
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Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize