Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
