Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
