you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize