I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
