So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
