i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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