I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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