No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
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I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
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Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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