guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
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and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
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I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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