Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
