I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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