Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
