Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
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Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
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Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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