I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
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He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
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drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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