i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
