I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
