I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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