drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
