No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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