hotel room ftw
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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