But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I didn't shave. On purpose
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
