Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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