We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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