i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
