Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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