so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
