i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize