can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
