Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
