I smell stomach acid.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
