At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize