i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
