the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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