She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
