Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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