how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
