How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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