I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
