hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
