my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
