sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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