M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
