we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
