I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
