Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
