We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
