Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
