There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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