Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
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