he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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