I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
