didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I just saw a hot homeless man
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
