Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize